Eternal Consequences of Sexuality

What's it like to make a decision in favour of your sexual and mental well-being that costs you everything you know and sometimes everyone you love? Julia and Jeremiah Postema are certified sex therapists who grew up in different religious communities, and from their experiences they speak to singles and couples who are on their own healing path from shame, disillusionment, and allegiance to the church. Jeremie and Bryde chat with today's guests about the restrictive gendered messages around relationships and sexuality that exist within evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal communities. They also talk about the challenges of existing in both religious and philosophical spaces and the grief that can come with leaving a religious community. They highlight the importance of expanding options for healthy relationships and sexuality, at a pace that is appropriate for those in treatment.

Takeaways

Growing up in religious communities can impact our approaches to intimacy and sexuality.
The concept of the 'trad wife' reinforces restrictive gender norms within evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal communities.
Existing in both religious and philosophical spaces can be challenging, but it is possible to maintain a sense of spirituality outside of organized religion.
Leaving a religious community can result in a sense of grief and loss, as it often means leaving behind a community and relationships.
Religious communities often teach foundational values for healthy sexuality in early childhood, but as children become adolescents, the focus shifts to allegiance and identification with the church.
Men who grow up in purity culture may struggle with the double bind of being taught that they are sexually dominant and aggressive, but also that they must fight sinful urges.
Couples with differing religious beliefs or levels of commitment may face challenges in their sexual and intimate relationships.

Keywords

sex, religion, sexuality, religious communities, sex therapy, gender norms, trad wife, evangelical, Mormon, Pentecostal, philosophy, spirituality, grief, leaving a religious community, healthy relationships, religion, sexuality, relationships, abstinence-only education, gender differences, shame, therapy, couples, communication

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