Our daughter came out of the womb with two middle fingers raised to the world. That’s not down to us

“If some wooden comes at you with a shank,” Ronan goes, “grab them be the wrist and twist it, then hit them at the base of the nose with the heel of yisser hand, driving upwards. Upwards – that’s it."


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More from Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

  1. 06:20Honor is only running for Mount Anville head girl to downgrade her old dear’s greatest life achievementApr 27, 2024
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  3. 06:17‘You should be ashamed of yourselves! We’re old enough to be your parents and we’ve taken you to three sets!’Apr 12, 2024
  4. 06:02‘If you play that match, Ross, our marriage is over’Apr 08, 2024
  5. 06:23‘You are not having a hort attack! I’m not allowing it!’Mar 29, 2024
  6. 05:43‘I didn’t play football for Rathnew. I didn’t play football for anyone. I resent the allegation’Mar 22, 2024
  7. 05:54Three European Cups, three Six Nations, one Grand Slam – but never winning a Leinster Schools Senior Cup clearly still rankles HeaslipMar 15, 2024
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  9. 05:45‘I haven’t cheated on you in, like, 10 years, though – well, let’s just say a long time’Mar 01, 2024
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