S3, Ep 6 Susan Wokoma: Narcissistic Relationships

In this episode we welcome a multi-talented actor, writer, and regular co-host of The Guilty Feminist, she’s genuine, warm, and ferociously loyal to her friends, she’s one of my favourite people, it’s stage and screen’s Susan Wokoma.

Suzie was named one of Forbes 30 under 30 in 2017 and a BAFTA breakthrough brit in the same year.

Her breakthrough role as Cynthia in Chewing Gum firmly put her on the map as one the UK’s most brilliant comedy actors and she continues to bring huge depth and generosity to all of her roles. You can see her right now in All4’s Year of the Rabbit and in Truth Seekers, a new Amazon Prime series out later this year.

Suzie opens up about a long-term relationship she had with a partner who she has since identified as a narcissist. In the interests of anonymity, they are never named. None of us are psychotherapists in this ep, but we have all encountered narcissists on various ends of the spectrum.

We discuss how gaslighting and other narcissist techniques of manipulation and control can throw your sense of reality out of orbit and erode your all-important gut instinct. We look at how to identify a narcissist and what to do if your friends or you suspect you’re in a relationship with one.

She throws light on the intersectionality of what a victim is and isn’t allowed to look like in society and how this might particularly prevent black women being taken seriously when it comes to abusive relationships.

Suzie is incredibly brave and eloquent in this interview and she hopes that if even one person if helped by her sharing her experiences, then it’s a job well done. And we agree. Oh, and always beware when someone tells you their ex-girlfriend crazy. It may just be a red flag.


Suzie’s short film for Sky about her mother’s obsession with, and grief at Princess Diana’s death, Love the Sinner is at once both hilarious and moving. You can watch it HERE. Suzie was also part of the writer’s room for the second series of Sex Education.


We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us!


Social Media:

Susan Wokoma: @susan_wokoma

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com


If you or anyone you know has experienced an abusive relationship, please look at the following resources:

https://www.cosrt.org.uk Relationship and sexual function therapists

MIND - www.mind.org.uk

Childline - 0800 1111