Shappi Khorsandi

"I ended up getting the phone number of his other girlfriend. And she and I are on the phone for 10 hours. And it was absolutely bonkers" - Shappi Khorsandi

Comedian and author Shappi Khorsandi joins Samantha Baines to talk about her divorce. The comedians chat motherhood, pets killing things and crying in the green room of the Jonathan Ross Show. Turns out panel shows aren't always the best things to be on when you are going through a break up and Shappi talks about her own brand of heartbreak, dating rock stars, finding out about her new boyfriends double life and "basically having a breakdown". An honest, unforgettable episode of the new smash hit podcast!

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Trigger warnings:

break down

single mum


double lives


sam 00:12

Welcome to the divorce club hosted by me comedian and divorces Samantha Baines. You might be starting a new chapter due to your divorce. Maybe you have a friend who's going through a divorce or you're just plain curious. I recently got divorced age 32. And it was a bit of a whirlwind doing it so young. Yes, I still believe I'm young. Don't ruin it for me. I felt confused, free and lonely. So I decided to interview some interesting people about their divorce experiences in the hope that it would help me get out of house mainly, and maybe help you too. Don't worry. I am a comedian so it won't be all doom and gloom. Welcome to the divorce club. So I am joined by comedian and author Shappi Khorsandi. Hello.

Shappi 01:02

hello, how are you?

sam 01:04

Good. Thanks. Welcome to the divorce club.

Shappi 01:06

Oh, I'm delighted to be here. I am so happy.

sam 01:11

How does it feel when I say to you, you are divorced?

Shappi 01:15

Well, you know, I forget sometimes I forget I was ever married. It was 10 years ago that we split up. We spent longer in the divorce process than we did being married.

sam 01:27

So how long were you married for?

Shappi 01:29

We were married for three years. And we broke up. And then the divorce took about the same time.

sam 01:37

Just Wow.

Shappi 01:38

Yeah, that took about two years, two and a half years of going through it all. And we went into court twice. And it was, yeah, yeah. The worst time of my life. Yeah, it's really bad.

sam 01:52

So the whole process took three years?

Shappi 01:56

Yes, the process took forever. And I have Such a deep psychological problem with form filling. And I don't know if you had to fill out a form e, but the form e is set to torture people into just staying in their marriages.

sam 02:13

Wow, I don't think I remember a form titled E I remember filling out a lot of forms. Yeah. How long is form E?

Shappi 02:21

It's about 137 pages long. I don't know. I think you have to fill in form if you have any kind of issue with how to split your assets. So if you didn't have that issue, then you wouldn't have had to fill one out. But we did. And they ask you everything like how much have you spent on toilet paper? You know, in the last year, exactly what your outgoings are exactly what you own and what it costs and just the minutiae of your day to day existence you have to fill out in form, it's just ghastly. Sorry, my dog wants to go out, but she can't. She's digging, we buried a mouse in the garden. And now she keeps...

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