Carl Donnelly

"Ijust actually had a lot of cob webs I had to really work at" - Carl Donnelly

Comedian Carl Donnelly joins Samantha Baines to talk divorce, why you should nab an Australian and why all the divorced man cliches have worked for him. He found himself in India, found himself in a divorce juze, mped into a relationship too soon after his divorce, became a vegan and realised a lot about himself in the process. An uplifting and honest chat with lots of laughs and interesting discussions about gender roles in guilt, marriage and society.

Trigger warnings:


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This episode is sponsored by Noveltea - please drink responsibly as it is tea with alcohol.


Sam 00:00

You are listening to the divorce club and this episode is sponsored by Noveltea. Welcome to the divorce club hosted by me comedian and divorcee, Samantha Baines. You might be starting a new chapter due to your divorce. Maybe you have a friend who's going through a divorce or you're just plain curious. I recently got divorced age 32. And it was a bit of a whirlwind doing it so young. Yes, I still believe I'm young, don't ruin it for me. I felt confused, free and lonely. So I decided to interview some interesting people about their divorce experiences in the hope that it would help me get out of the house mainly, and maybe help you too. Don't worry, I am a comedian so it won't be all doom and gloom. Welcome to the divorce club. Hello, I am joined by comedian Carl Donnelly. Carl, welcome to the Divorce Club.

Carl 01:08

thank you. Thanks for having me, what a prestigious club it is to join!

Sam 01:12

isn't it? So exclusive, you have to spend lots of money on solicitors fees and paperwork.

Carl 01:18

Yea. The Soho House of sadness.

Sam 01:22

Exactly. Well also hopefully happiness and new chapters. Yeah, so not all sadness. So how does that feel when I say to you are divorced?

Carl 01:30

It feels weird, actually. I mean, me and my ex wife separated seven years ago. Yeah. So now, I think I've in the last maybe 18 months or so I think I'm in the next lifetime almost, you know, I am remarried now. Yeah, it feels like the thing that happened to the old me... up until a couple of years ago that I was still very much felt like I am a divorced man.

Sam 01:52

And how does that feel?

Carl 01:54

For me, I definitely felt like there was and I think this is why it's it's still got a bit of stigma. A lot of people would probably hold on longer than they need to relationships that probably should end. I always felt like a sort of failure at something that other people manage to succeed at.

Sam 02:09

do you think you felt that failure until 18 months ago? And now do you feel like a success again, because you're remarried?

Carl 02:16

Well, it's not so much. Now, its not about failure or success, I suppose that I've just grown a lot in the last probably five years and realised that I've just lost any connection to that concept of failure in terms of, you know, relationships, you know, the whole world goes through ups, downs, breakups, divorces everything, I suddenly just stopped judging myself against some sort of fake sort of marker system of success or failure. The thing is just ultimately, sometimes out of your own control.

Sam 02:47

Yeah, I think it's weird. I was brought up Catholic so I feel like I have this religious like "you have failed, you're meant to stay with your married...

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