How Would You Market the Xenomorphs to Regular People?

Do you have a delinquent son? Your child playing up and you don’t know what to do? Or maybe you just want your kid to have the best possible start on the journey that is life? Well do we have a solution for you! With this here fachugger we can cocoon your boy and like a beautiful moth emerging after going through a not-at-all-terrifying metamorphosis, your child will emerge like they were a brand guy! With drive! Ambition! A little guy on their tongue! Spooky as all hell! But if that’s not your speed and you’re on of those freaks that’s an exotic pet enthusiast we have this little fella here that swims real good we think. Plus we’ll even throw in the acid proof glass you’ll need for your aquarium and or terrarium. Why do you need that? Don’t worry about it, perhaps that isn’t for you and maybe you’ll be interested in becoming an investor in our brand new patented technology of acid mining! Where we safely put these Alien creatures in a pit and use all those bullets we have too much of to safely put down layers and layers of acid. It’ll melt away all that dirt and rock and leave only the precious dirt and rock we want we reckon. Get in now while the gettin’s good! Xenomorphs: it’s for everyone!

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