Could You Be a Better Conscience Than Jiminy Cricket in Pinocchio?

Let’s be honest, Jiminy Cricket sucks. He barely teaches Pinocchio right from wrong let along how to be truthful, brave and unselfish. No matter which way you cut it, Pinocchio is let down by every authority figure he meets. So let us look after this horrifying wooden facsimile of a real boy! We’ll teach him a thing or two about a thing or two. And just before we impart good morals or whatever, we do have a quick questions: what is he? He cries but he doesn’t seem like he needs to breathe but he can drown and we are scared. We prefer when a puppet has our thoughts and not it’s own. The Blue Fairy really cooked this one, thankfully we know the perfect three wishes that will fix this horrible, horrible mess.

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