Fatherhood's under the microscope this week as we turn to Alan's dad Lionel: his life, his (supposed) death, his (alleged) stint in the armed forces. Plus: The prevalence of Lionels, the truth* about Norfolk's inbreeding and a handy guide to seagulls. Also: 'Squeaky' Steve Backshaw, rambling sandwich chat, Peartree Infographics and a tragic glass injury. [*opinion]

SHOW LINKS

• Seagull vs sausage GIF

• Seagull goes shopping GIF

• Seagull pounces in Wales

• Sky apologies for seagull eating sparrow

• People pretending to be a bus

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