Ep. 136 Can Couples Therapy Save Our Marriage?

In today’s episode, we get candid about a time when divorce was in the cards for us and share how our couple’s therapist made us aware that it wasn’t realistic to count on one person to be everything to each of us. You’ll hear how our therapist managed to identify that Doug’s habit of speaking in an announcer’s voice is stonewalling, and how she showed us that it is damaging to our relationship. The purpose of this podcast is to connect with you! We tell you how we learn and grow from your contribution and answer a listener question about why the producers of Married at First Sight paired us with one another, before telling you what we are constantly learning from one another. We discuss the guy Jamie dated before she met Doug and the story of how we are still friends with the girl Doug lost his virginity to. Jamie records a voice note after a session with a couple’s therapist and shares her thoughts on boundaries, and how her childhood has shaped who she is today. One of the main things we hope you take from this episode is that spreading yourself too thin serves nobody, least of all you! Please join us for some powerful insights from our personal journey today.

Key Points From This Episode:


How our therapist helped save our marriage from the brink of divorce.

What we learned from therapy: you can’t count on one person to be everything.

How Jamie used the voice recorder on her phone as a form of therapy.

Doug’s ‘announcer voice’ and how this stonewalls Jamie in situations of conflict.

How you can get in touch via email or social media with your questions.

The main aim of Hot Marriage Cool Parents, which is to connect with you!

Doug’s endorsement of Manly Bands and their range that you can customize.

Listener question: what did the producers find compatible about Doug and Jamie?


How Doug has shown Jamie how to get comfortable in her own skin and how Jamie has taught Doug to have drive about everything he does.

Jamie shares why the person she dated before Doug was a great guy, but not suited to her.

How Doug stayed friends with the girl he lost his virginity to.

Jamie’s voice note that she recorded in her car after a couple’s therapy session.

How finding the right fit in a therapist has been a huge game changer for us.

How putting yourself last doesn’t make you reliable, but is a way to try to get the love and acceptance of people around you.

The effect of having no boundaries, which is resentment.

How having boundaries benefits absolutely everyone in your life.

The story of how Jamie’s mother turned to drugs and put her family’s needs aside.

How she realized that setting boundaries helps her please herself and put her family first.

What Jamie identified about spreading herself too thin: that she’s no good to anyone, including herself!


For All Things HMCP, Check Out Our Instagram Handles:

Hot Marriage. Cool Parents. — https://www.instagram.com/hotmarriagecoolparents/
Jamie — https://www.instagram.com/jamienotis/
Doug — https://www.instagram.com/doughehner/

And Thank You to Our Sponsors:
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DBS Alliance - To learn more about how you can start conversations about mental health and suicide in your community, visit dbsalliance.org/suicide-prevention 
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