S3 Ep19 Lost That Lovin' Feeling
Have you lost that lovin’ feeling? Listen as the Gals explore how to bring it back!
Oh, oh that lovin’ feeling! Juices flowing! Can’t wait!
Hot little topic today! 1:21- IN Love relationship and it’s juicy deliciousness vs I Love you, you’re my best friend, and I love hanging out with you. When the romance and deliciousness can get lost.
2:31. It’s gone! Where’d it go? The lie is you can’t get it back, once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Diff between being in Love and loving someone. In love, we have to be close, do things with them, and touch them.
3.07 KK in a juicy phase right now.
3.24. Old thinking- juiciness only lasts for a short while and then all the juice goes out. 3.50-Nursery Rhyme- KK and RHRN sitting in a tree.
4.08 You’ve got to have the loving feeling to stay in love!
4.20 Sometimes it does happen that you lose it, grab it back, you don’t have to go. 4.41 KK and RHRN a moment of looking at you, “I hate you.”
5.06- Past; wouldn’t know why she was having that reaction. Game over. Projecting and blaming leading to less love.
5.47- How do you go from being in love one day to wanting to punch him in the face the next day.
6.01- Realized she had gone silent on something, some behavior, some pattern. More she wasn’t speaking up, blame started to creep in from Mr. RHRN.
7.38- On one side RHRN is judging her for not enforcing “requests” to kids and on the flip side, RHRN is benefitting from her not saying anything when he doesn’t follow through on his actions.
7.54- Let’s pick it apart. Where is the breakdown? It’s in the “In Love.”
8.15- Second judgement comes into the frame, almost always kills “In Loving.” KK, “My pussy dries up.”
8.58- Minute he stepped into judging her, she felt like respect waned and he wasn’t in the “In Love” space.
9.10- Defense swings back to retaliate. Fuck it.
9.30- Hallmarks of being in love: generosity, abundance, creativity, possibility, laughter, joy, surrendered, cool, easy, flexible. Easy & Flexible are the fun part. Moment one goes away, it all goes away. We step out of love.
10.24- Don’t ever say, “are you on your period?” Goes downhill when KK behavior towards him changed. 11.08- When you’re in love, the common denominator is acceptance. 1
1.33 Love is patient, kind, and spacious. Even if it’s you judging yourself. 1
2.38- Middle ground of how to love herself enough by not getting taken advantage of AND still feel patient and kind. Difference between judgement and reflecting something so that you can live a better life.
14.17- It’s the little things that erode the “In Love.”
14.38- Alison Armstrong, “I want to be in love with everyone in my life, everyday.” In Love is a practice!
15.03- Minute we trigger each other, boom! We’re off to the races!
15.29- Ask how you’ve stepped out of your loving, how are you not communicating, why did I do that? Feels hard but it’s simple, really.
16.57- Creating really good agreements with each other creates/sustains the “In Loving.”
17.46- starts when KK begins to feel like she’s being taken advantage of: side glares, foot stomping, chuffing and RHRN feels like a kid who’s being punished.
18.17- way for her to show how she’s upset rather than making a loving request. In the past it’s been scary to make the request, so resorts to behavior. Resentment builds when they don’t respond the way she wants, even though she didn’t communicate it.
19.39- Ron Hulnick (USM)- If you ever want to fall out of Heaven, just have a judgmental thought about anything. Pulls you into your own story, not communication.
20.20- Sometimes we need to renegotiate our agreements.
21.01 aRe you willing to believe your partner is NOT a malevolent force in your life, setting out to piss you off or upset you? See them as innocent, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. 25.09- It’s important how fast you “fix” it. If you leave hurt feelings out there for too long, they start to fester and grow into the next one, and the next one.
26.13- What if we stopped telling ourselves the story that “In Love” can be broken. We resign to that’s what happens.
26.54 Enough insurrection moves that haven’t been cleaned up and not enough erection moves. 27.19- In Love equals a really nice sexual relationship that works for you, whether it’s loving, wild, tantric...Happens naturally if you’re in love.
28.02- we allow the little things in life to take over and build up instead of just saying the thing so that you can get back to the loving.
29.04- Eradicate the tension, has to start with You changing your behavior so that it can be received differently.
28.29- Risking your relationship for truth.
29.52- We’re all just these weirdly specific individuals who all like things the way we like them. 30.17- energy with which we tell our person things, doesn’t have to be big, heavy dark agreements. Where’s the levity, the humor? Can still have fun.
31.25- Who needs a spanking? 31.46- have to ask each other to stick to the agreements, builds the trust.
32.02- Early stages we give away our trust. If broken over and over, deteriorates the In Love. 32.42- Women get fluid, delicious when feeling safe. But if trust isn't’ there, then there’s a problem. Agreements need to be clear.
33.59 KK trying to find a place of safety and trust with RHRN.
34.39- Needs have to be met, but not all of them. A lot of people talk about one of the best ways to create the best partnership is to commit to making your partner the number one priority in your life & vice versa. Takes you out of ego, out of me, me, me. 35.43- We’re spiritual, you guys know it, we’re not hiding it. New Testament- “Love thy neighbor, as thyself.” All it means is that you get your needs met together.
36.47- have you noticed how smooth the conversations are when you’re In Love? 37.11 KK- Can I love him anyways? Are the little things worth destroying the deliciousness? These issues run deep, we make up the stories which drive our emotions.
s38.02- Add the story, stir it up, whaddya get?
38.23- It’s possible to stay In Love, possibly forever, if you’re willing to try out some of the strategies which have kept the Two Gals In Love? Deep commitment to ownership, owning your shit, forgiving it, and remaining in the Love. Reason above all else to do it? Hot sex? Because your life will flourish and so will everyone’s life around you. You got the power to stop being a Bitch, Baby, (insert whatever judgmental words you like).
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