S3 Ep2 Getting Even
1:00 Life is complicated and crazy right now… the world is so big but all the same issues mirroring back and forth from the microcosm to the macrocosm
1:35 protection and safety
2:08 does it start with us or does it start outside us … first place of influence in right here in our lives
2:30 Krista is reflecting on Mr. Right Here Right Now … Appreciating the moment and peace and blissful disappearing into him.
5:20 Krista moving into the openness in the moment flowing into sexual energy … and Mr Right Here Right Now rebuffs her advances for work …
7:28 Krista’s “getting even” persona shows up… and even while she knew it was a story … she couldn’t get the e-motion to stop… from the story of shame from rejection …
8:07 This is what happiness feels like…. very expanded and joyful …. into an immediate feeling embarrassed and hurt
10:13 Was Krista trying to control her expanded state when she added sex into the mix?
11:04 Was it her upper limit that created the rejection? “oh I’ll go the extra mile to make sure I can keep this happiness. True happiness came from the freedom … but trying to capture it knocked it down.
13:47 punishing him was the first place the wild woman inside wanted to go … Krista considers which way would be best to approach for Krista to use with this one.
15:59 where did the conflict start with the night before in Mr Here and Now’s delicious attention? Or in the morning… what is authentic impulse, what is Krista doing to try to give back to him or trying to send him out the door happy… so he’ll come back! yuck!
17:49 super connection in the Oneness… stepped into oneness across the boundary of separation… once we think about the “other” fall to earth when we become two.
19:17 I am the cause … me doubting the love, going into fear about losing love creates the loss. Fear of losing is what breaks the connection.
20:30 The choice for tonight is how to settle myself so that I can choose back into the love.
21:07 What is fear? Anything that is not love.
21:35 Mr. Delicious was completely giving to me last night, and the morning of blissful love, an exhaustion from the trying to be good, the effort was so hard. We were coming together in the loving that is outside the trying… how the flow works in a quiet blissful gentle place.
24:08 Leaning in first sexually Mr. D questioned “was I really available?” some part of me was topping out and feeling the need to reciprocate. Unconsciously I broke the field .. this is not going quite right he had the experience of being rejected.
26:54 We are talking about expansion when you hit the outside edge of our comfort zona. Breakdown… Gay Hendricks: Upper Limit and noticing the effects of our choices.
28:24. take responsibility and let the story go, working inside ourselves to return to our own loving.
29:12 the gift of these men and what they have given us, from our investment in relationship is keeping Krista out on the edge. “we are happy, what is the problem” underneath Krista still feels the desire to own him and keep him for her safety and security.
30:39 Krista needing reassurance, the edge is very present in the moment rather than in the form of the relationship.
32:00 Mr. Delicious commitment issue keeps revolving around whether there was 100% commitment… exploring love …what “destabilizes” you so that you can experience more love. Making the commitment to love instead of each other.
33:00 Safety in freedom or in security. Mr. Here and Now and Krista how can we give what they need…both will have to expand into new territory.
35:13 Each person is honored, or you don’t stay. If each of you can come together in these needs from each other. Alison Armstrong episode talking about making decisions together about what is true for each of you.
37:12 Fear “it is so good how will I get this back if he leaves” … when we grasp at the relationship, we can lose everything.
38:42 Can our safety come from somewhere else? Can we find the safety we need in our own loving that is sustainable and powerful?
39:05 can we expand into the field where we can both meet?
39:30 we should be able to withstand lower vibration without derailing us…if we can’t, we are choosing to unravel.
40:00 The idea of the Podcast today is that we are responsible for creating fields of loving that we include other people, when they break, we have to look at ourselves.
40:30 Can Krista and Katherine pull it off before the guys get home?
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