Grief is a Sneaky Bitch

Sundari Malcolm, a Birth, Grief, and Death Doula, joined host Lisa Keefauver for this episode. In 2007, at 27 years old, and after 7 years of being her Caregiver, Sundari Malcolm lost her mother to Breast Cancer. 4 years later, her father died from the complications of Brain Cancer.Those experiences redirected her life, and she's made it her mission to equip people with the tools they need to manage life’s greatest transitions. This conversation travels topics deep and wide from friendship loss, the role of caregiving for one parent, to grieving a complicated relationship with the other parent and the practices and skills we need to metabolize our grief. All along the way Sundari brings warmth, wisdom, and my favorite – a little cheeky humor to this wide-ranging conversation. MORE ABOUT GUEST:Sundari is the founder of A Healing Doula Academy, a self- paced virtual training program for Spiritually led Grief & Death Doulas with a focus on Indigenous healing practices. Sundari is offering this community an enrollment discount of 20%. You can visit www.ahealingdoula.com to learn more and Simply apply the giftcode, SNEAKYBITCH20 at checkout.  CHAPTERS:05:07 Cultural Perspectives on Grief07:58 Understanding Friend Loss14:54 Healing Practices and Self-Care19:31 Navigating Life as an Orphan28:03 Spiritual Practices in Grief29:11 The Role of Caregiver in Grief29:32 Navigating the Complexities of Caregiving43:38 The Challenges of Anticipatory Grief56:10 Understanding Complicated Grief01:03:55 Reclaiming Intuitive Healing ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Follow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less hereSubscribe AFGO with Lisa Keefauver on Substack here 

Cole Imperi, a clinically trained chaplain and thanatologist joins host Lisa Keefauver to explore the multifaceted nature of grief. They explore the importance of grief literacy, the role of community support, and the cultural perspectives that shape our understanding of loss. Cole shares her experiences working with incarcerated individuals and discusses the concept of shadow losses, emphasizing the need for compassion and understanding in grief. The conversation highlights the significance of rituals, vulnerability, and the importance of building supportive communities for those navigating grief.  MORE ABOUT GUESTCole Imperi is a thanatologist, author, and researcher whose work focuses on the use of non-clinical tools in support of those experiencing loss and grief. She is the author of "A Guide to Grief" published by Kids Can Press for ages 10-14 and has a second book about grief for adults coming in 2026 from Penguin. Visit www.coleimperi.com to learn more about her work. KEY TAKEAWAYS09:49 Grief in the Prison System18:09 Themes of Loss and Home24:42 Cultural Perceptions of Grief33:05 Vulnerability of Grievers38:53 Cultural Influences on Grieving Practices49:11 Building Community in New Environments55:09 Writing for Grief Literacy in Teens01:04:18 Understanding Thanatology and Its Cultural Context ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time.Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less hereSubscribe AFGO with Lisa Keefauver on Substack hereFollow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.

Olivia Abousaid joins host Lisa Keefauver for a profound conversation about the complexities of grief, particularly in the context of community, chronic illness, and cultural influences. They explore personal experiences of grief, the importance of rituals, the role of anger, and the necessity of finding agency amidst ongoing loss. The discussion emphasizes the significance of community support, the power of letter writing as a tool for processing grief, and the balance between experiencing joy and sorrow. Ultimately, the episode serves as a reminder that grief is a shared human experience that requires connection, understanding, and compassion. Our conversation traverses a wide landscape of types of losses and facets of grief  - from the death of loved ones, witnessing and experiencing racism and genocide, dreams deferred and denied, and the grief over the limitations brought on by living with Lupus, a chronic illness. MORE ABOUT GUESTMaster Certified Coach Olivia understands the profound power of self-improvement and resilience. Born and raised in Dallas to Palestinian parents, her journey has instilled in her a deep appreciation for personal growth and navigating cultural nuances. Now residing in Los Angeles, Olivia combines her life experiences with her expertise as a Master Certified Professional Coach to empower individuals to unlock their full potential. As a dedicated grief and transformation coach, Olivia helps clients navigate their unique journeys through grief—whether it’s the loss of a loved one, coping with chronic illness, or grappling with unfulfilled dreams. Her transformational coaching goes beyond one-size-fits-all solutions, creating a safe space for you to explore your goals, overcome challenges, and embrace your authentic self. Learn more about Olivia by visiting https://www.pact-coaching.com/ Key Moments09:46 Cultural Context of Grief15:36 Navigating Complicated Grief21:12 Agency in Ongoing Grief30:36 Embracing the Complexity of Emotions36:32 Sustaining Activism and Personal Well-being45:19 Understanding Chronic Illness and Grief56:59 The Importance of Community in Grief01:05:39 Rituals and Practices for Healing ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time.Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less hereSubscribe to Substack AFGO with Lisa Keefauver

Anne Gudger is the author of the beautiful memoir, The Fifth Chamber, which Kirkus Review called “An emotionally riveting memoir, raw and inspiring.” In this conversation, Annie Gudger shares her journey of navigating love and grief after the accidental death of her husband when she was just 6 months pregnant with their son. As she shared in her extraordinary memoir, Anne explores the complexities of entering a new relationship as a young widow and mother while dealing with profound. Together we explore themes around shock, the nature of helpful (and not helpful) grief support, along with the coping mechanisms she developed. Annie emphasizes the importance of curiosity and meaningful conversations in processing grief and highlights the therapeutic value of writing as a tool for healing.  MORE ABOUT GUEST Anne Gudger's work has been published in places like Newsweek, Real Simple Magazine, Columbia Journal, The Los Angeles Review, and more. She has been a Best of the Net Nominee twice and has won a handful of essay contests. In March 2020, with her beloved daughter, she co-founded Coffee and Grief: a community that includes a monthly reading series focused on grief and their podcast called Coffee, Grief, and Gratitude. Anne’s big purpose is to normalize grief, to give grief a microphone. You can learn more about Anne Gudger, her incredible memoir, The Fifth Champer, and her other grief platforms by visiting www.annegudger.com or follow her on socials at @annegudger.  Key Moments00:00 Introduction to Grief and Early Loss06:00 Lessons from Early Grief Experiences09:01 Celebrating Kent: A Life Full of Adventure11:58 Navigating Accidental Loss and Early Grief15:07 The Role of Support Systems in Grief18:01 Specific Ways to Offer Support21:04 The Impact of Grief on Daily Life28:55 The Importance of Grief Support30:01 Navigating the Before and After of Grief34:25 The Challenge of Dating After Loss41:53 Remaking Identity Through Grief44:47 Finding New Love Amidst GriefABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, cancer survivor, and grief activist, author, and keynote speaker on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Follow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here

I’m thrilled to bring you a conversation with the warm and one of the truly wisest people I know on the subject of grief and loss, Litsa Williams. She is the co-founder of the online grief organization, What’s Your Grief - - - which is also the title of the incredible book she co-authored. She is a grief therapist with over 15 years of experience working with sudden, traumatic, and disenfranchised losses as well as ambiguous grief. Litsa holds a Masters in Social work and one in Philosophy too. Both of those perspectives show up in this conversation. This episode is expansive as we explore the loss of her father and the subsequent challenges her family faced, including her sister's struggle with addiction. Litsa emphasizes the importance of understanding our grief beliefs and the stigma surrounding addiction, while also highlighting the need for accessible resources for those navigating grief. Whether you or someone you love is experiencing a disenfranchised grief related to addiction, ambiguous losses, traumatic loss or more, I promise you are going to learn so much from this conversation.MORE ABOUT THE GUESTShe is the co-founder of the online grief organization What’s Your Grief. She’s a grief therapist with over 15 years of experience working with sudden, traumatic, and disenfranchised losses as well as ambiguous grief. Drawing on personal and professional experience with grief, WYG was built as a resource offering concrete, accessible, and relatable support, founded on the values of psychoeducation and creative coping. Litsa received her master’s degree in clinical social work from the University of Maryland School of Social Work, as well as a master’s degree in Philosophy from the University of Warwick (UK). She co-authored the 2022 book What’s Your Grief: Lists to Help You Through Any Loss. Learn more here: https://whatsyourgrief.com; https://instagram.com/whatsyourgrief; https://facebook.com/whatsyourgrief ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Follow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here

Susan Lieu is a multi-hyphenate storyteller, activist, and author helping people live the stories they’ve always wanted. Her award-winning solo show 140 LBS: How Beauty Killed My Mother evolved into her debut and truly extraordinary memoir, The Manicurist’s Daughter. In this episode we explore the complexities of grief beliefs shaped by family dynamics, the silence surrounding loss, and the impact of cultural context on mourning. Susan reflects on her mother's legacy, the circumstances of her death, and the cascading losses that followed, including shifts in family structure and identity. The conversation highlights the importance of being seen and heard in the grieving process and the role of art in healing. Susan shares her profound journey of grief, justice, and self-discovery following the death of her mother. She discusses the complexities of carrying grief, the quest for accountability, and the transformative power of performance art in processing her experiences. Through her exploration of family dynamics, she uncovers the shared pain and resilience within her family, ultimately leading to a deeper understanding of love, compassion, and the importance of living with intention. ABOUT THE GUESTVietnamese-American author, playwright, and performer Susan Lieu is the creator of her theatrical solo show "140 LBS: How Beauty Killed My Mother," which received critical acclaim from LA Times, NPR, and American Theatre. Her debut memoir, The Manicurist’s Daughter (Celadon), is an Apple Book Pick of the Month and Must Listen of the Month, and has received accolades from The New York Times, NPR Books, Elle Magazine, and The Washington Post. The cofounder of Socola Chocolatier, she is a proud alumnae of Harvard, Yale, and Hedgebrook.You can follow: @susanlieu @celadonbooks facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanlieuofficial TikTok: @susanlieuofficial LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susanlieu/ https://www.susanlieu.me/over-140-lbs ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, cancer survivor and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. LEARN more at www.lisakeefauver.com.FOLLOW @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.SUBSCRIBE to AFGO with Lisa Keefauver on Substack at lisakeefauver.substack.comLISTEN to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.READ Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.WATCH her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here or the video versions of this podcast here

In this episode we discuss internationally celebrated celebrity intuitive medium Susan Grau’s new remarkable book, Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons. It is a deep dive into the soul's journey, offering insights into healing from grief and the afterlife. Susan shares her early memories of trauma and loss and the profound impact of her near-death experience. Our conversation delves into the definitions of spirit and soul, and how these concepts relate to our understanding of life and death. Susan explains what she’s experienced and learned about the spiritual connections that persist beyond death, the role of angels and guides, and the importance of being present in our lives. Susan offers practical advice for connecting with loved ones who have passed. Please note: This episode does include discussions of childhood abuse and near-death experiences. Please take care and use your judgement on what’s best for you. ABOUT THE GUEST Susan Grau is an internationally celebrated celebrity intuitive medium, author, soul healer, and speaker. In addition to working as a professional medium and life path intuitive, Susan’s diverse range of certifications include: Reiki Master, Sai Maa Diksha Practitioner, Karuna Practitioner, and Certified CADC II - Addiction Specialist. Additionally, she is a licensed hypnotherapist specializing in past life regression, a respected professional teacher of the metaphysical arts and an honorary member of the Healing Touch Professional Association (HTPA). Susan specializes in grief therapy, guiding people to healing and recovery. Susan has just released her new book Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons (July 16, 2024) by Hay House. It is a deep dive into the soul's journey, offering insights into healing from grief and the afterlife and is now available to order on her website and a variety of retailers in the US. ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, cancer survivor and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. LEARN more at www.lisakeefauver.com.FOLLOW @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.SUBSCRIBE to AFGO with Lisa Keefauver on Substack at lisakeefauver.substack.comLISTEN to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.READ Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.WATCH her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here or the video versions of this podcast here

Emmy Award-Winning journalist and author, Allison Gilbert, joined host Lisa Keefauver for an important conversation on the intersections of grief, joy, and loneliness. They dive deep into the lessons from Allison's latest book, 'The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life.' co-authored with the late Dr. Ruth Westheimer. They explore early experiences of grief, the importance of peer support, and the tough love lessons from her co-author, Dr. Ruth Westheimer. The conversation delves into defining joy, the structure of their book, and the significance of communicating needs in relationships. They also address the challenges faced by caregivers and the importance of maintaining connections amidst caregiving responsibilities. ABOUT THE GUEST Allison Gilbert is an Emmy Award-winning journalist and one of the most influential writers and speakers on how to find the inner resources to overcome life’s biggest challenges. Through research and lived experience, Allison helps audiences transform grief and loss, manage caregiving and chronic illness, and find connection amid the growing public health crisis of social isolation and loneliness. She is co-author of Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s final book, The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life. The book stems from the article Allison wrote for The New York Times, “Dr. Ruth Saved People’s Sex Lives. Now she wants to Cure Loneliness,” about Dr. Ruth’s appointment as New York State’s Ambassador to Loneliness, the first such position in the United States. Allison is also the author of Passed and Present, Always Too Soon, and Parentless Parents. You can follow her on IG at @agilbertwriter. ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, cancer survivor and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. LEARN more at www.lisakeefauver.com.FOLLOW @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.LISTEN to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.READ Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.WATCH her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here or the video versions of this podcast here

Kathleen Blackburn was the oldest of five children, a 12-year-old from Lubbock, Texas, whose evangelical family eschewed publ­ic education for homeschooling and wove improbable scientific theories into literal interpretations of the bible. Then her father, a former air force pilot, was diagnosed with stage IV cancer at the age of thirty-eight, and, as Kathleen writes in her searing memoir, Loose of Earth, “it was like pouring gasoline on the Holy Spirit.” In this conversation, we explore the intricate relationship between personal grief, memory, and the political dimensions of loss. We dive dep into the complexities of memory, denial, and the impact of parental beliefs on childhood experiences of loss. As a memoirist, Kathleen explores the journey of humanizing those we’ve lost and shares her experiences growing up in a family that prioritized faith healing over medical care for her father's cancer. Kathleen explores the impact of her father's military background, the denial surrounding his illness, and the emotional toll it took on her as a child. The conversation also explores the environmental factors contributing to her father's health issues, particularly PFAS contamination, and how these experiences shaped her understanding of grief and memory. ABOUT THE GUESTKathleen was born in a military hospital on Guam in 1984. She was raised in Lubbock, Texas. She earned an MFA from the Ohio State University and a Ph.D. from the University of Illinois at Chicago. She is the author of the memoir Loose of Earth, out with the University of Texas Press (April 2024). Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Texas Observer, Belt, Guernica, Gulf Coast, River Teeth, and elsewhere. For five years, she’s taught creative nonfiction workshops at the University of Chicago. In Fall 2024, she will join the English faculty at SUNY New Paltz as an Assistant Professor. You can pick up a copy of her extraordinary memoir, Loose of Earth online here or in your favorite local bookstore. ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, cancer survivor and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. LEARN more at www.lisakeefauver.com.FOLLOW @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.LISTEN to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.READ Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.WATCH her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here or the video versions of this podcast here