The Ramble: Faustino Asprilla’s condom delivery drones, more Premier League contingencies and the angst of Newcastle United fans

Tino Asprilla has offered to make drone deliveries from his condom company to help people who need them in this difficult time. Not all heroes wear capes, but some of them have their best ideas at 4am. 

Tino isn’t the only one trying to find solutions, though. The Premier League met on Friday to discuss further ways of moving this most movable of feasts, an unenviable task, while FC Midtjylland have come up with the idea of drive in football, leading to disturbing revelations about the details of Pete’s car. The man can’t even drive. 

On top of all this Man City’s scouting team have been busy, with even Ilkay Gundogan getting in on the act, a Newcastle fan gets in touch to share his pain and Detective Joey Barton is on various beats. 

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Further reading: 

No surprises as the Premier League meeting yields no solutions:

FC Midtjylland have come up with a novel way of bringing the crowds:

Man City have signed a player!

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