Also, Xavi was wearing Stone Island on the touchline, so we can only assume he and his XL bully were waiting for Luis Enrique in the carpark.

Marcus and Jim look back on two entertaining Champions League quarter-finals! Well, spare a thought for Marcus having to watch Atlético try to sit on a 2-0 lead…

Plus, a reappraisal of Rodrigo de Paul (aka Messi’s bouncer) and his hair, speculation about Ronaldinho’s night out in Paris, and unconfirmed reports that Diego Simeone is making his players forage for food.

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