PSG will rate their Champions League chances after Bayern only managed a solitary goal last night. Marcus, Jim and Pete are here to remind you that goalscorer Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting once played for Stoke - join us!

Elsewhere, Porto’s muggy little bicycle kick ended up being the only fly in Edouard Mendy’s ointment and Mesut Özil has resorted to buying his own club so he can then play himself. We also celebrate a momentous anniversary for Newcastle United and Emmanuel Frimpong’s reputation continues to precede him.

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