Newca$tle: The FA Cup returns, Gonzalo Higuain arrives and so does Ashley Cole

The FA Cup is back with a thigh rubber between Arsenal and Man United, moneybags Newcastle taking on Watford and a Tony Pulis derby between Middlesbrough and Newport County.

We learn about Pete’s morning emotions, discover Jesse Lingard’s dad’s past as a Power Ranger and reminisce about everyone bashing Kerlon. Please note, this episode also features those little slugs from Burton, and a love rat. 

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Further reading:

Accrington Stanley; who they are:

Newcastle do have some money after all:

Wilfried Zaha catches the eyes of Borussia Dortmund:

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