The Totally Total Show

We're back! Clearly! After a summer bare of football but smothered in madness we discuss the glittering showpiece magic of the Community Shield, the new ABBA penalty system and once again struggle to catch up with what represents value in the transfer market.

Elsewhere there's a party at Villa Park as John Terry starts to 'put down roots', Yeovil have unwelcome admin issues and there's a welcome return for one or two old favourites...

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