FarFetchedFables No 133 Travis Burnham and Matt Mikalatos

First Story: “Evil is as Evil Does” by Travis Burnham

(Originally published in Aoife's Kiss.)

Right in the middle of my nefarious plan to create an enormous ball of bubonic plague-infected fleas, the door gong set my teeth to rattling. I sent Herschel to see who it was.

“It's today's virgin,” he rumbled from the end of the hallway.

“Well don't just stand there like an idiot, bring her in,” I shouted. “You know the routine.” Herschel is as loyal as any evil master could hope for, but if his intellect were a knife, he'd have trouble cutting butter.

Herschel brought her in over his shoulder and placed her on the trapdoor that dropped virgins to the room below where they would meet their violent, bloody deaths at Vilesnoot's claws and fangs.

I leaned back in my easy chair, annoyed. “Herschel, remind me to call Green Light Virgins and complain. They're simply cutting too many corners.”

Travis Burnham is an SF/F writer and science teacher. His work has previously appeared in Aoife's Kiss, Bad Dreams... For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy