608: How to Stop Being a People Pleaser with Amy Green Smith

In today's episode of the As Told by Nomads Podcast, join me and Amy Green Smith as we talk about how you can advocate for yourself with grace and kindness. Here, Amy shares how targeting internal beliefs around "enough-ness" influences our ability to handle challenging conversations in life. As we tune in more to what she has to impart, Amy explains her three-part framework for setting boundaries, and so much more.

Setting Boundaries: Decide, Deliver, and Reinforce

During the discussion, Amy shares a three-part framework for boundary setting. This framework focuses on the decision-making, delivery, and reinforcement of the boundaries you want to make.

To deliver well on those boundaries, you also have to communicate them well. It's about how you explain and have conversations about the boundaries you're setting. As a tip, rise above your emotions before having conversations. Having an emotion-driven talk is most likely to tilt the balance in communicating, so try not to. When you set boundaries, people are also inclined to test them. Making sure you're clear and consistent about your limits gives the message that you're serious about sticking to your set boundaries.

About Amy Green Smith:

Whether it be advocating for a new system in the workplace, asking for someone’s business, requesting or negotiating a raise, declining a family obligation, or expressing needs to a partner, many women find it extremely difficult to voice their wants, needs, and opinions. Amy addresses the underlying reasons we fear speaking up for ourselves and spells out easy-to-implement tactics to find your voice and actually use it.

Outline of the episode:

  • [03:25]Amy Green Smith – on claiming your self-worth 
  • [05:22] Pleasing others or speaking for yourself isn't always an ultimatum
  • [08:40]External direction and internal knowing
  • [12:08]What propelled Amy's inner excavation
  • [16:07]Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn
  • [21:00]Unlearning people-pleasing can be triggering
  • [25:25]Every time you silence yourself…
  • [28:25]A "yes" for one and a "no" to another
  • [30:56]Amy Green Smith – on deciding, delivering, and reinforcing
  • [30:50] Success depends on your definition and not on others' reception


Website: https://amygreensmith.com/

Podcast: https://amygreensmith.com/pods/

Amy's Free Resources: https://amygreensmith.com/free/

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