582: Understanding Attachment Styles and Setting Healthy Boundaries with Silvy Khoucasian

In today's episode of the As Told by Nomads Podcast, join Silvy Khoucasian and me to discuss the different styles of attachment, the types of boundaries by Rokelle Lerner, and what she has to say about how to make intentional, genuine connections. Of course, not fully understanding what other people are going through sometimes is understandable. But for Silvy, what's essential at the very least is to learn how to validate the experiences of others even though we're unable to completely empathize. Tune in as Silvy shares more of her wisdom as a Relationship Coach in this episode!

How to make a connection on the first date?

Sparking connections with people involve elements that differ from person to person. Especially if it's a romantic relationship in a pandemic where the experience, for most people, is a new context. For a start, Silvy talks about boundaries. Boundaries, for her, need to be discussed before the first meet-up. It'd be awkward to talk about what works and what doesn't as the meet-up happens. That's why it's important to do it before, even if it sounds too serious to talk about at first. Boundaries exist to help both parties feel safe. When safety is established, a lot of things can take off better. It also gives clarity depending on what the intentions for dating are. Exploring is also one thing to remember when dating. Managing your expectations and allowing both to shine is a must to genuinely know each other. It's risk-taking, and it shouldn't always just be about you. For connection to happen, mutuality, reciprocity, and taking risks with vulnerability must take place. Both parties must actively take part in making these happen. If there's no active participation and you just leave things as is, many opportunities will be missed.

Outline of the episode:

  • [04:42]Silvy: On the experience of immigration
  • [07:58]What is it about relationships that are telling of our personalities?
  • [12:11]Relationships may serve as mirrors
  • [16:46]The Attachment Theory and the different attachment formations/styles
  • [22:43]People find themselves in stories and in other people's experiences
  • [24:38]Why do you need to set boundaries?
  • [29:54]The pandemic is a new context to experience – on keeping boundaries
  • [32:33]How do we intentionally spark a connection?
  • [38:51]The back and forth thoughts when connecting with a different attachment style
  • [41:51]Making a connection is an active process


Website: http://www.silvykhoucasian.com/

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Online Programs: http://www.silvykhoucasian.com/online-programs

Coaching: http://www.silvykhoucasian.com/coaching

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